Im -perfect

Chapter 8

"What's was that all about ?"asked Selina who fell a step behind me , her tone inquisitive .

"Maybe he is so upset that its messing with his brains "I could only offer her this , Because I knew thatthere was a trap in laid there , Jacob Knight won't ask me on a date for no reason because I wasn't thegirl who will get the guy.

The guy I deserved was most probably someone who will work a 24 *7 job in some stupid boringcompany not the one who rattles my entire body senses with his gorgeous smile .

And Jacob Knight most certainly falls into the latter category , with his razor sharp jawline sharpenough to cut glass and stormy gray eyes in which a person can practically lose himself.

Selina looked at me ,as if she knew what was going on my mind but thankfully she doesn't sayanything to me , good , I don't need her pity .

But down deep down , I couldn't help be disappointed at the giddiness that was enveloping my heart .

Once I reach my home , I drag myself upstairs to my room , fighting my inner demons has sapped myenergy .

I felt too tried to even think , part I wished to stop taking the high road and let myself indulge towhatever Jacob has to offer , part I knew that it was wrong , He has made my life in highschool hellfrom the past two years and I shouldn't ever think about being in such close proximity with him .

"He was joking ; He didn't mean it and you will be a nice little joke if you fall for his tricks "I repeated thismantra over and over again , to stop the monster roaring within .

Once I used to look down on those girls who's eyes will shine with little hearts in them , I rolled my eyeswhen they claimed they lost their control whenever a cute guy was around and therefore , it wassensible enough for them to make dumb decision .

Turns out I was just like them .

I can still feel it .

His warmth

His breath

His nearness

God.Get a grip.

Turns out Karma really did slap one in the face , For two years , Two years I have been fighting myinner self, repeating it over and over again ; that I didn't like Jacob , nor did I enjoyed the forceful heplanted on my lips , on our first encounter .

But

Karma did me good , being this close to him once , rattled mes o badly that I could still hear my heartthumping and I cannot lock my new found awareness about my feelings for Jacob into the darkness ofmy head as if they don't exist .

I liked him , I fucking Liked him .

"God , I'm screwed "

I buried my face in my hands, I couldn't understand why , just why , why it has to be him ? Just why didmy first crush has to be on that guy?

I ate three meals a day

He was someone who counts his calories

I wanted a stable life

He was unpredictable

I had nothing to offer

He had everything .

I felt raw undiluted fear , it was as if someone has stripped me naked , leaving my insecurities tounravel themselves .Its a struggle to breath, how am I supposed to act now, ?

I let my backpack drop on the floor with a' bam’, pressing the play button on my phone ; I fill the void inmy space.

Tears barge into my eyes as I snuggle into my bed covers , I didn't dare to think about my feelings orJacob anymore.

I knew how this was going to end , Guys like him , do not settle for a girl like me , what am I supposedto do ? Go along with whatever he might be planning for the sake of a night pleasure ? Because that'sall he will ever want for me, Guys like him goes for girl like Anna ; with barely any fat coveringtheir bodyand I wasn't desperate enough to let him ruin me like that .

That's right.

He might have been successful in getting inside a teeny tiny part of my heart but it was all upto me ,How take care of these unwanted feelings ,Jacob might rule me the entire student body but he won't beruling me much less my heart .

Today , Just today , I will let my heart cry all it wants for a love it can never have and by tomorrow I willhold head high again , burying my feelings deep where they belong .

I close my eyes and let my tears loose for the love that didn't even get a chance.

I startle awake .

Heat smothering my body , hair sticking to my face and my breast tightening against my shirt .

and that wasn't all.

My hand was resting in between my legs and I felt something sticky on it ...I..was ..wet .novelbin

Is it up straight , jerking my hand away .

I didn't even remember what I was supposed to be dreaming about .Why ..what was this reaction ?

I was thankful that I didn't turn the lights on in my room or else I would have seen my face turning red inhumiliation.

Parting my lips , I lick my lips wet .

Everything about this should feel wrong but it doesn't infact I'm even surprise to feel the suddenpassion rising and falling inside my body .

My heart pounds with nerves and pleasure.

I'm petrified and ashamed.

It's said that dreams shows what a person desires unconsciously but I'm too embarrassed to accept myshameful arousal, the dream was nothing but vague mist but I knew who and what I was dreamingabout .

But I wasn't going to admit to it and there is no way in hell I'm gonna do it with Jacob.

It was better for me to bury this along with my feelings as well.

Jacob Knight was a depraved bully and no way in hell will I be letting myself indulge in carnal sin.