Female NovelBriar
“Cotton candy is the closest thing to divine food humans can have, did you know that?” I shovel another handful of the sticky, pink colored fluff into my mouth, moaning at the way it dissolves on my tongue.
“I would argue with you, but this tastes so good that I don’t think I can.” Lyra replies, munching on her blue cloud of sweetness.
“Girls! Are you even working or just laying around on the job?” My uncle says as he walks up with a box of old green wine bottles, setting them down on the bench in front of us.
Lyra and I look at each other, before laughing loudly. Taking a minute to sober up, “Sorry, Thomas. We were taking our lunch, it’s illegal to work people without a thirty-minute break.” I joke.
He rolls his eyes playfully, grinning at the both of us, “You’ve not even been here thirty minutes!”
Both of us set our cotton candy down, continuing to laugh as we start helping put the booth together. I could hear the music start to wind up as the sun began to set, lights illuminating the sky, the air filled with the smell of greasy food and sweet treats.
Ponderosa Springs’ Carnival was being hosted by Hollow Heights this year as a way for students to pitch in. Mostly upperclassman who made booths or ran the games like Bottle stands.
We were helping my uncle set up the Ring Toss before we headed into the carnival to hit a few rides before we had to go back to the dorms.
I was organizing the bottles on the table, when I heard Thomas say my name, I turn slightly,
“What’s up?” I ask, smiling softly.
He scratches the back of his neck, standing next to me and fiddling with the bottles I am messing with.
“I know that I wasn’t around much when you were growing up and I’m not your parent,” he starts, looking even more nervous, “But I’m sorta your guardian here, or at least I feel like it, ya know?”
I quirk my eyebrow, “Are you trying to have the birds and bees talk with me? Because my mom already explained all that.”
“No, no, no,” Violently shaking his head, holding his hands out in front of him, “I’m not saying that. I just,” He takes a breath, “I know you’ve been hanging around Alistair Caldwell and his friends lately.”
I’m more shocked than I should be.
I mean, I wasn’t frolicking around campus holding his hand, but we had been seen together, even from my first day of class. I knew people were going to talk. It’d been a few weeks since his birthday, and we’d spent most of it trying to find places to get our hands on each other.
His car, my dorm when Lyra was in class, the shower, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had this amount of sex in such a short period of time.
Yet, every time I tried talking to him about himself, asking about Rosemary, or just about who he was, I was shut down immediately. And I hated that I was settling for just sex.
Every time I told myself I would walk away, I would leave him alone if he didn’t give me something to go on.
I just couldn’t do it.
Shamefully, I was willing to do it, as long as I had certain parts of him. Deep down I knew there was something there, he just wasn’t letting me see it. I had known it the moment I saw him, Alistair was addictive. I just didn’t know how much, until I finally had a taste.
Quitting him wasn’t easy, especially with the way he touched me. The way he held me when we were together and the way I caught him soften his gaze when we laid next to each other after our orgasms.
He was winding his web tighter and tighter around me and I was letting him.
“We are just friends.” I say, brushing it off as nothing. I wasn’t lying, we didn’t have a label so friends was closer than to the truth.
“And that’s fine. I just want you to be careful, okay? Alistair has particular notoriety here. His family too. I just don’t want you getting hurt, Briar.”
I knew if it were my dad, he would have said the same thing. My dad would have already tried beating Alistair up, but he would have said this to me beforehand and even though he was telling me to steer clear of him, I was still thankful.
Wrapping my arms around his waist I hug him quickly, “I’ll be careful. Thank you, Thomas.”
This seems to bring relief to his shoulders, the breath he releases rolls across the top of my head as he hugs me back.
“I missed out on group hugs?” Lyra says, walking over with other boxes, pouting jokingly.
We spend the next hour helping Thomas put the game together, even helping get his first few customers started before we start taking on the carnival rides that we know are probably not the safest. novelbin
My hair is windblown, my cheeks feel chapped from the last ride and I haven’t stopped laughing since we got here.
I’m talking to Lyra, walking around when my shoulder grazes someone else.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I mutter, turning around and reaching my hands out to catch whoever I’d hit.
“It seems we are just destined to keep meeting like this,” He says, “I’m starting to think you’re running into me on purpose.”
I’m nearly blinded by his smile, but even that’s not enough to distract me from the fact I know his face.
When I ran into him outside of the library a while ago, I didn’t think he’d remember me. We’d had a quick conversation while I gathered my books about my chosen major and if I ever needed help with my classes, to reach out to him.
Having only seeing him in pictures up till that point made it even more shocking at the resemblance of him and Alistair. Dorian could’ve been his twin, minus the way his nose tilts to the left a little too much, and his cheeks are soft compared to Alistair’s sharp ones.
“How are your classes going? Any teachers giving you trouble? I know Mr. Gabble can be quite the stickler.”
“They are going fine. No problems, yet.” I force a smile onto my face, hoping if I keep the conversation light I can shuffle away from him quicker.
“Oh, I’m being rude, I’m Dorian,” He sticks his hand out for Lyra to shake, which she returns, “Dorian Caldwell.”
“Lyra,” She replies moving her hand up and down with his.
“Are you ladies enjoying the carnival? I swear every year it gets more and more attractions. Hollow Heights is going to need a bigger fairground come next year,” He laughs, placing his hands in his pockets.
“It seems that way.” I say awkwardly.
Dorian had never given me a reason to find him odd, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was a part of the reason Alistair hated his family so much.
“You both are freshmen, right? So you know my brother, Alistair?”
The way he asks the question makes me think he knows the answer already. This glint in his eye that’s daring me to lie to him. Watching to see how I would react.
“Of course we know him. Well, know of him. Your last name is pretty popular around this area.” I cover my lie with a joke, hoping my fake laughter will be enough to convince him.
“Consider yourself lucky you met the more charming brother first then.” He adds a wink for good measure.
I know he’s being nice, but the comment makes my skin crawl in all the wrong ways.
“I guess so.” Lying easily.
“I meant to ask you at the library the other day, but” He reaches into his pocket pulling his phone out, “I’d love to get your number, maybe take you to dinner? I know this great restaurant—”
“I’m sorry, but I have a boyfriend. Thank you for the offer though.” I interrupt before he can finish, slowly starting to back away from him, pulling Lyra with me.
A flare of something wicked turns his smile from polite, to twisted in less than ten seconds. The annoyance of my rejection sits on his face, but soon it’s gone, his regular charming face back in place.
“Maybe another time then,” He chuckles, “You ladies be safe tonight, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around.”
Just as quickly as he appeared, he’s gone. Disappearing into the crowd of carnival guests.
Together we make our way through the rest of the rides, I’m almost dizzy from the amount of times I watched Lyra on Tilt-A-Whirl. Either way we were having fun, enjoying ourselves as the night started to get a little colder.
I stood outside the bathroom waiting on Lyra, thumbing through my phone when the feeling of being watched made the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. I raise my eyes, looking through the crowd in front of me but seeing no one that would have been staring at me.
The feeling of someone curling their hand around my arm sends me into high alert.
“Don’t scream.” I hear whispered in my ear.
I’m jerked backwards, being pulled to the backside of the bathroom building away from the noise of the carnival. I feel his body press into mine, backing me into the side of the brick. Instantly comforted by the smell of clove and spice.
“I can’t leave Lyra.” I whisper yell, pressing my hands into the leather of his jacket, trying to put space between us.
“The guys will be with her until we are finished.” Alistair replies, his frame shielding me from anyone who might walk past us back here.
Our eyes meet, matching smirks adorning our faces, “Thought you didn’t come to school functions.” I insist.
“Rook wanted a funnel cake.”
That’s the last thing he says to me before he presses his lips to mine in a scorching kiss that sears all my thoughts. I melt like ice on the hot pavement as his body bends me back, allowing me to feel every muscle against my soft skin.
My fingers grip onto the collar of his leather jacket, heaving him closer to me. Needing to feel him everywhere.
One more hit. One more high.
I repeated that in my mind.
“Just for Rook, huh?” I whisper when our lips part.
He snaps at my bottom lip with his teeth, before dipping his head into the crook of my neck, making me gasp loudly as his wet tongue runs along the column of my neck.
“Just for Rook.” He grunts.
“Liar.” I moan tenderly, dropping my hands to his toned stomach, fingers sneaking up the trim of his shirt to touch his bare skin that burns beneath my touch. He’s always so warm. On fire all the time.
The smile on his lips grows as he marks my throat with his mouth, “Truth?” He rumbles in a deep voice that makes lightning strike my core.
“Please.”
My voice comes out more needy than I expected, but I think that was all I really wanted from Alistair. Was the truth, answers, something that proved this was more than some sex fest. That I was something more to him than the invisible poor girl who was an easy lay.
“I’ve got some things to take care of tonight but I need to taste you first. Wanted to get my head right. And I need to ask you something,” He starts,
“What body wash do you use?” He asks, inhaling me like I’m the finest strain of cocaine he could acquire.
I can’t help the laugh that escapes my mouth, “What?”
“What is that smell on you all the time. It’s like fucking flowers.”
The way he traces the veins in my neck with the tip of his nose makes me shiver in his arms.
“It’s ugh,” I stumble distracted as his hands fall on my hip bones, rubbing circles into them, “Olay. Black currant and orchid. I think.”
A mental note is made to keep using that scent as we stand there, hands reaching for exposed skin, tugging each other closer, short breaths, gentle moans as we work each other up.
I loved this. I wanted this to be enough, but as my head falls back against the wall, my brain makes it impossible for me to concentrate. What does he mean by something to take care of? What is he going to do?
This couldn’t be enough for me. I needed more. I needed answers.
I wanted to be selfish because I wanted all of Alistair. Not just pieces.
Pressing my hands into his chest and pushing lightly, putting a gap between the two of us, “Alistair, wait—” I start, swallowing the nerves in my throat,
“What are you going to take care of tonight?”
I make the mistake of connecting my eyes to his. Dark, rich, bitter brown eyes that remind me of fresh earth after a heavy rain. So dark they are inky, almost black full of depths I can’t even understand.
The lust that tinted them begins to lose its luster and I know he understands what I’m asking.
“Don’t.” He says, shaking his head, “Don’t do this right now.”
“Is it about Rose? Are you going to the police about what we found on that flash drive, you’re gonna turn Mr. West in? Is that what you are going to do?”
His hands retract from my body, “It’s taken care of.”
“How? Did you tell someone?” I push, “I need to know that something is being done, there are probably hundreds of missing girls out there. This is the evidence people need to solve unsolved kidnappings! You have to say something.” It had been buzzing in the back of my mind since I saw the video.
“You aren’t a part of this. You did your job and now it’s being handled. That’s all you need to know.”
I furrow my eyebrows, “That’s all I need to know? Are you fucking kidding me? I broke into a safe for you! I could’ve been expelled, hell, arrested! I deserve to know!”
The way he steps away from me, like I’ve made him sick has this sharp pain moving across my chest, the way jellyfish wrap their tentacles around your body before shocking you, I can already feel the burn.
“No, you broke into a safe because I blackmailed you. Don’t act like you’ve done me any favors, Briar.”
“Are you serious?” I spit out, a harsh laugh following, “That’s how you’re going to be about this?”
“What did you expect? We start fucking and I owe you an explanation to everything I do?”
I flinch at how harsh his tone is, how harsh his words are.
“I don’t owe you anything. If you’re looking for a boyfriend who is gonna call you pretty and tell you you’re the reason he believes in love, you are in for a rude awakening cause that’s not me. This,” He waves his finger between the two of us, “is sex. That’s it, just sex. Don’t try to convince yourself it’s anything more.”
I thought the moment my heart broke it would be this loud crashing sound in my chest. That it would make a commotion like smashing glass onto the floor.
It didn’t. Instead it was this silent moment of mourning as the pieces fell apart. There shouldn’t have been a reason I was so affected by this.
Why should I?
Alistair Caldwell is bad news. He is trouble. He tormented me. He is involved in murders and sex rings. There is nothing redeemable about him.
But there was a brief time between the wrath, between the hate, that he was my bad news. My trouble.
I thought, stupidly, I was special. I mean he tattooed me didn’t he? Marked me for the entire fucking world to see?
This dull ache begins to radiate all throughout my body. Hearing him say that aloud stings even if I knew that was how he felt about it on the inside.
But this is Alistair. He probably tattoos every girl he fucks just to see the conquest. To show he owns everything he touches.
It was my mistake for thinking a snake would ever change his stripes.
“It’s easier for you, isn’t it?” I say, “For me to hate you?” My eyes are stinging, but I am refusing to let a single tear fall for him. He doesn’t get those.
He scoffs, shaking his head, “I don’t want you to feel anything towards me. That would make it easier.”
“You’d rather me hate you, than open up. Than to explain why you’re such an asshole all the time! It’s why you won’t tell me about your family, isn’t it? They made you like this didn’t they?”
“I don’t tell you because it’s not your damn business. Stop trying to get more from me! I’m not going to sit here and tell you about how my mommy and daddy don’t love me while you pet my head. Leave it the fuck alone.”
“You’re just scared.” I counter, “You know that if you tell me, if you let me in,” I poke his chest with my finger, “I’ll understand why you did the things you’ve done. I won’t have a reason to hate you anymore, and for some reason you don’t want that.”
Pure, unbridled anger contorts his face, “Because you should hate me, Briar! I’m not a person you should like. I’m not someone you should be friends with,” He stalks towards me, eyes blazing into me as my body stumbles back at his sudden movement,
“I am not a good person. I hurt people. I enjoy hurting them, and guess what? I’m enjoying hurting you. I fucking love taking pleasure in hurting you, Little Thief.”
The words fire off into my chest like bullets. Cracking the shield I’d built over my heart.
I don’t move, still standing stiff as a board staring up at him with a blank look. Trying to search for the light inside of his eyes. Searching for something I think died a long time ago.
Something that may not even exist.
“What did they do to you?” I croak, shaking my head in disbelief.
That was it then. I was just a puppet he could play with, just someone to toy with and manipulate. I didn’t mean anything. It was all just a part of his fucking game.
“Hey, lover boy! You done? We need to head out.” Rook’s voice is a saving grace, giving me an excuse to get out of this conversation. Away from Alistair’s eyes.
Wrapping my arms around myself, ready to curl up in my dorm room with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, I started walking back up towards the noise of the carnival.
I shouldn’t hurt this much. I shouldn’t feel like this, I think as I pull my phone out of my pocket to shoot a text to Lyra.
Midway through typing the word, Where, a sweet smell filled my senses and I could feel the softness of cloth pressed into my nose.
Then, the world went black.