Female Novel
Chapter 638
Those days were practically hell. And as humans, we would always choose to forget the most painful
times of our life.
He had only mentioned pieces and fragments of the past, but I already felt my heart buzzing with a dull
ache. I found myself unable to utter even a single word.
I withdrew my hand and decided that I should say thank you, but I felt that it would be too shallow, so I
chose to stay silent instead.
His face was blank as he flashed me a small smile tinged with a hint of hostility. He said, "With each
passing day, you slowly recovered. I initially thought that since Hendrix had wounded you so deeply,
you wouldn't miss him anymore. I knew perfectly well that you didn't feel anything for me. But I thought,
so what? The days are long, love and joy can be nurtured and cultivated little by little. But I didn't think
that you'd still leave with him in the end."
He gave out a self-deprecating laugh. "Arianna, as soon as your scar healed, you forgot the pain!"
I had no words to retort with. I stayed silent, lips pursed as I listened to him read me to filth.
He sneered as he continued saying, "I didn't mean to hurt you, but Arianna, do you know how I lived
through those nights after my parents passed away one after the other? At night when I dreamt, my
mother would always yell at me, saying that she was feeling cold while my father would tell me that he
was lonely. I would wake up in such a big, hollow house in the middle of the night and couldn't go back
to sleep. Back then, I kept thinking that if you could stay by my side just like I did for you, perhaps I
wouldn't suffer that much. But every time I woke up at night, the room would be dead empty, and I
would find no one by my side."
He looked at me, his dark eyes horribly grim. "Do you know what it feels like to suffer alone in the
darkness?"
I pressed my lips together. That one word of apology was hitched in my throat, and no matter how
much I tried to force it out, it stayed stuck. It stayed unspoken.
"Arianna, you have no idea how much I loved you. And it's because of that love, that I hate you so
much now."
After those words left Irvin's lips, I sat completely stunned on the couch. My senses left me for a long
time. It felt like an eternity had passed before they came back to me.
One of the lessons learnt during physics class in high school was about the law of conservation of
energy. Later on, in the concept of materialism in politics, the same law of conservation of energy was
discussed once more.
When we were young, we would focus on the vastness of knowledge, making comparisons of
everything in the world. Now that we really reflected on it, we would come to realize that the life lessons
we needed to learn had already been taught in the nine years of compulsory education.
In this world, there was no such thing as unconditional love and kindness, but only the fair exchange of
love. If you had enjoyed but didn't reciprocate the love and affection shown towards you, then guilt
would dwell in you for the rest of your life.
Perhaps I would never be able to properly face Irvin for the rest of my life.
He was right; he was the one who pulled me out of hell. So, why didn't I reach out to save him when he
was going through the same purgatory crap?
Soon after his last words were said, he got up and left. I remained seated in the living room and spent
the entire night awake. Indeed, I had no right to judge Irvin's rights or wrongs. Everything that he did
now was merely to soothe the grudge held in his heart.
novelbin
That night...
I didn't sleep a wink.
Hendrix's arrival in search of me was expected, so I wasn't surprised.