Female Novel
Chapter 9
It was a few days further and I was still three months pregnant. Nope, absolutely nothing had changedashit. After finishing up my week behind the bar it was the weekend and somehow I managed to call insicout of the picture and so was Lucio who was at first surprised to see me in the kitchen but didn’t paylotsit.
I knew that if I had to work it tonight it would’ve been time to start dancing again, but I also knew that Iat least not with a baby in my belly. After looking up several job applications I had quickly found outthatwaiting on a college drop out.
My hands grasped for the abortion clinic booklet and I held it tightly. Why did it have to be this difficult?The most logical action would be to go with my original plan and to abort the baby as soon as possible.something of my own but I also wanted to give my child the life it deserved. Adoption was out ofoptionmyself very well, I got too attached way too quickly and would never be able to give up my child.Keepinsomething I did not have the heart for even if I wanted to.
I looked down at the contact number at the back of the booklet and typed it in on my phone butregrettsomeone had actually picked up. I had expected getting an abortion was an easy thing to do andthat thfollow quickly after that, but it didn’t. Unfortunately, I did not prepare myself for all the questionswhich including the question of why I wanted the abortion, but what was I even thinking? Upon hearingmy unnurse made an appointment for the next day so I could talk things over and get moreexplanation.
The word ‘discuss’ scared me. I did not want to discuss anything because I knew that the longer Iwaitedregret my decision. It was not that I didn’t want to become a parent, because I wanted to, butwhat was tbeing pregnant when you could not even enjoy your pregnancy?
To make matters worse, the internet was my best friend, so I looked up the abortion process and evenwvideos as if reading about it wasn’t painful enough.novelbin
Just the thought of it made me run to the bathroom to throw up for what would be the fourth timetodabeing morning sickness, it was more-so a combination of nerves and disgust. I just wanted this tovanishon with my life and never make the same decision again.
On the bright side, I wouldn’t get that many questions from the girls because Faith and Luna were theonSee, being a loner did have its advantages.
That was all I send into the group chat consisting out of Luna, Faith, and I. They had become my bestfrieyou were supposed to confide in your friends, but telling them I got pregnant by our boss’ justsoundedmatter how you looked at it.
When I heard a knock on my door I almost jumped up, thinking about who it could’ve been. “Who’stheexpecting nothing back because I definitely did not expect anyone. “It’s me, Lucio!” A voice calledback.Shit, why would he come here now?
“Just a sec!” I yelled back and ran around the house to clean up. My first instinct was to hide theabortioon the tv, and to throw a blanket on the couch to make it seem like I was actually doingsomething.
After a speedy round, I walked to the door and opened it. “You called in sick.” That was all he said andinwhile looking around. He had two bags in his hands, which made me worry because it seemed like hewaanytime soon. “I actually heard you were sick the entire week and I got worried,” Lucio spoke andthrew on the kitchen counter.
Even though he was my boss, Lucio coming over was not a surprise because he had done it beforeand iI had known him he became a father figure to me. The only thing was that the timing was bad,considerime being sick would’ve been due to his grandchild I was carrying.
“You look terrible, I told my sons to take care of you and they have you out here looking like some grimworries, I have the best soup recipe for fevers!” He spoke and pointed towards the bags.
Lucio had always tried to be nice, but having the wrong choice of words was unfortunately somethingthLamberti family, a curse that hadn’t pass Lucio or his sons.
I laid back onto the couch and covered myself under the blankets. Lucio was a man of orders, so tellinghfor him to leave would not only be extremely disrespectful but also a waste of my breath. “Fine, dowhat spoke. Shortly after, Lucio was already busy with cutting up the ingredients and asked mequestion after did I get sick, when did I get sick, if I had already been to the doctor.
“It’s just a fever, it’ll be over soon,” I reassured him, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. At times Ifouhow my brains worked. One of the reasons why I didn’t want to bring the baby into this world wasbecauof Christian and the business he was in, but yet I had the actual boss, a mafia boss, cooking inmy kitchen
Lucio wasn’t all that scary. I wasn’t completely stupid and knew of his reputation but I had no reason tofanything I admired him, so why was I so afraid of Christian?
“Come join me at the table, we have to talk,” Lucio spoke. I was afraid for this ‘talk’ but after he hadcoomeal for me, obeying him was the least I could do so I wrapped the blanket around my body andwalkedkitchen to sit at the opposite side of him. “Here you go, eat it all.” He told me and placed a bowlof soupI didn’t know whether it was my pregnancy or the fact that I couldn’t cook for shit so onlyordered food,time and ate the soup as my life depended on it. Lucio had a proud father-like smile onhis face and quiewhile I was eating, and I couldn’t help but wonder. “Do you treat all the girls like this?”
Lucio let out an offended chuckle and shook his head. “I don’t even treat my own daughters like this, soappreciate it if you told me what’s going on.”
“Serena, I know you won’t accept a million-dollar check even if I gave you one, but I’m begging you tosdoing because look at you child. I’ll find you another job, I’ll take care of you as one of my own.”
I had almost dropped my spoon and stopped eating for a second. Bad would’ve been anunderstatemenabout my actions. Lucio was aware that I had no parents, so that was most likely thereason why he paid attention to me, which was not crazy. He must’ve thought I was exhausted whilethat wasn’t the only casanyone to take care of me, I had always been on my own and even though Isometimes got jealous whenothers with their family, I was completely fine on my own.
“I appreciate you, I respect you a lot…but I don’t need your help,” I told him, on the verge of tears. Attimtempting to just accept his offer and let him write me a check but I couldn’t. I wasn’t that type ofpersonwant to be. The business the Lamberti’s ran had always remained in the back of my head andone way onot want to get involved even if it was as much as accepting a check.
“Serena…” Lucio almost begged and had a guilty look on his face. “Serena, I’m so sorry for everythingyothrough.” You don’t even know half of it.
I felt my eyes get watery and knew I was about to break down crying any second. Crying was notsomethme and I was not ashamed to say that I cried at least four times a week, whether it was over amovie, or finger, but this pregnancy only made it worse.
“Serena, is there any other reason why you’re so exhausted? Please tell me, you can tell me anything.”Lubut this time I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore and broke down crying. Lucio had been the onlyonemotionally exhausted I was and it did something to me. I wanted to tell him the truth because hedeserwas no point in telling him the truth if the issue at hand would’ve been dealt with anytime now.
When Lucio saw tears falling down my face, he immediately got up from the chair and walked over towraround me. I felt warm and safe in his arms as if nothing bad could happen, but it already did. Attimes lirandomly think about my parents and about how much easier life would be if they never gaveme up if itbeen Lucio comforting me but my father.
“It’s okay, cry all you want, it seems like you’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.” Luciocomfortewas all it took for me to let it all out. I cried because I was upset, I cried because I felt guiltyand I cried beknow what to do.
It felt like I was stuck no matter what I did and I didn’t know how to deal with it. If I kept the baby Iwoulbecause there was no way I could continue dancing, and If I were to have an abortion I would’veprobabbecause besides it taking a toll on my body, someone like me would probably also have to dealwith the and lots of regrets.
All of this because of one thing which could’ve easily been prevented. Many had always said their childwbut to me, it didn’t feel like one. I wanted it to be a blessing and I wanted to be a mom and take careof wanted to have the perfect little family I had always dreamed of when I was younger and I wanted totell
If I had the opportunity to make this work I would’ve.