Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 33

Drowning my pain My phone rings for the hundredth time today. Letty’s name flashes but just like those other times,

I ignore her calls. She’s been trying to call me since yesterday.

I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to talk to her. She was still connected to the world and people I

wanted to stay away from. That left me at crossroads. 1

“Give me another” I ask the bartender immediately after my phone stops ringing.

Today was my birthday and this is how I was celebrating it. Alone in a bar, drinking some fruity kind ofconcoction, still hurting from Rowan’s vile words.

I’ve tried so much to push those thoughts away. I’ve tried harder to forget every word he threw at me,but it’s hard. They’re imprinted in my damn head like a fucking tattoo.

We’ve been married for years, yet it never crossed my mind that he thought of me as nothing but a slut.That he was using me as a substitute for Emma in bed. My heart has broken over and over again sincethat day at my house.

I should have been surprised that he chose to believe every single word Emma said but I’m not. It’stypical of him to believe everyone except the woman he has lived with for nine fucking years.

Whoever said that words hurts more than punches was right. This time I fear that Rowan might havebroken me beyond repair.

“Here” the cute bartender tells me.

He looks at me in sympathy, probably knowing that I was here to drown my sorrows. He must haveseen this kind of thing thousands of time.

I take the drink from him, while avoiding his eyes. I didn’t need his sympathy. What I need is a newbrain. A a new heart that isn’t tainted by pain and heartbreak. A soul unmarked by Rowan’s cruelty.

If I knew this was the future that awaited me years back, I would have ran for the hills. If I knew lovingRowan would destroy me in this manner, I would have flee to another continent, hell, another planet,just to escape him.

I wish I could smack some sense into my younger self. Maybe then I could have avoided all this heartache

+15 BONUS

Sipping my drink, I stare into nothing. My mind completely lost. I wasn’t drunk yet but I was starting tofeel the buzz. That’s what I wanted. I needed a break from the constant pain. Drinking

my ass off was going to give me that reprieve even if it’s just for a few hours.

I down the rest of my drink and look to the dance floor. There were people dancing. I haven’t danced insuch a long time. I wanted to let loose. After all, today was my fucking birthday.

Getting up, I move to the floor. I close my eyes and let the music take over. I start to move to the beat.Feeling my problems start to fade for a little bit. Here in this moment I could pretend that I was okay.That I wasn’t a broken vessel walking. Here in this moment I could pretend that I was whole.

I dance song after song. Trying to chase a type of numbness. I feel people come up behind me todance, I still don’t open my eyes, even when I’m grinding against them.

Some men try to get me to come with them, but I decline. I ignore them and eventually they give upand leave.

When I feel tiredness start to seep into my bones, I stop, open my eyes and head to the bar. I sit downon the barstool and order another drink, just as my phone rings again

I was about to ignore it, thinking it was Letty, but instead I see Ethan’s name flashing.

I decided to accept the call.

“Hi Ethan” I frown because my voice was a little high pitched than normal.

“Where are you Ava, are you okay? Would you mind telling me why Letty woke me up completely outof her mind with worry saying she hasn’t been able to reach you since yesterday?” he asks meworriedly.

I wanted to know how she got his number, but then I remembered that I gave it to her. She had insistedon having it the first day I went out with Ethan, just in case she didn’t hear from me.

“I’m okay I just don’t want to talk to her right now” I muttered loudly.

The music wasn’t too loud but it was loud all the same.

“Are you at a club or something?” he asks just as someone screams that the music playing was theirfavorite songs.

“Sort of”

+15 BONUS

“Are you drunk?”

“Just tipsy” I answer, though I was planning to drink myself to oblivion this once.

“Do you have a designated driver?”

I giggle at that. His cop character was coming out to play and I liked that. I also liked that he wasconcerned about how I would get home.

“No, but I plan to take a taxi” I answered.

“No, you won’t Give me ten minutes” he says before hanging up.

I frown at my phone. Wondering why he said that. Deciding that it wasn’t that important, I push it

to the back of my mind. Today was all about forgetting and letting myself go.

I don’t know how long it was when I feel someone sliding in the seat next to mine. I look up and I’msurprised to find Ethan’s blue eyes staring at me.

“Ethan, how are you here?” I ask in confusionnovelbin

“I told you I’d be here in ten when we talked, don’t you remember?” he asked back

I continue staring at him like he was a dream. Still unable to understand how he was here and how hefound me.

“I remember, I just didn’t take you seriously”

He studies me and I study him back. Don’t get me wrong, I liked him, but I just didn’t want to see. himright now. Tonight was my night of drowning my pain.

“What are you doing here, Ava? I’ve never taken you to be the kind of person to be out drinking at thistime of night. Especially not on a school night, aren’t you going to work tomorrow?” he frowned. Hisface etched in worry.

I wasn’t going to work tomorrow. After what happened with Rowan, I didn’t feel like myself. I had askedthe school board for an extension of my temporary leave. They had been pretty understandingespecially after I lied that I wasn’t fully recovered yet.

“It’s my birthday, I just wanted to celebrate” I tell him instead

By now the music had been turned off so I didn’t have to shout to be heard Majority we

+15 BONUS

“All alone? In a bar, at almost two in the morning?”

How do I tell him that I had no one to celebrate my birthday with? That no one even remembers the dayI was born? Even when I was married to Rowan, he used to forget and ignore my birthday each year.How do I tell him that my family hates me so much that they stopped celebrating my birthdays nineyears ago?!

I shrug my shoulders. “There’s no one to celebrate with me. I would have celebrated with Noah but asyou know he isn’t here. The rest of my family hates me so much that they don’t care if I turned a yearolder”

He looks a bit shocked at my words for a moment before recovering. He gets down from his barstooland helps me down. Silently taking my hand, he leads me to a private booth where he helps me sitthen sits right next to me.

He then turns and faces. “Why do you say that? I know something happened with your family, it’swritten all over your face.” He pauses for a while before continuing. “Does it have something to do withRowan, what happened? I see the pain you try to hide. Why do you say your family hates you?” theshoot from his mouth like sharp arrows.

Is

I stare at him. If I was going to try and build a relationship with Ethan then I had to come clean. What Idid could ruin my image in his eyes but he needed to know the truth either.

I take a deep breath. “It’s because when I was eighteen I slept with Emma’s boyfriend and endedpregnant.”

Evelyn M.M

Author

Please don’t kill me. Ava’s past will be revealed in the next chapter. Bye.