Female Novel
Chapter 324
Chapter 0324
Rowan.
The date was nothing but perfect. If I had my way, it wouldn’t have ended. Every moment I spent withher was heaven, and I wish I’d done this sooner,
I honestly don’t know why I never gave myself a chance to be happy with Ava. It bugs me that we couldhave been happy all these years if only I’d let go of Emma.
The love I had for Emma was young love; it wouldn’t have lasted. The moment it was tested, itcrumbled. What I feel for Ava is more mature, stronger, and deeper than what I thought love was atseventeen years of age.
I’m starting to believe that Gabe was right. Love doesn’t develop out of the blues, Just like he said, Ithink deep down I loved Ava; I just let the guilt of hurting Emma consume me. I held on to Emmabecause I felt I needed control, and marrying Ava and being with her felt like something out of mycontrol.
I also believed that allowing my feelings for Ava to grow would be akin to betraying the love I had forEmma. What I didn’t realize then was that that love had died long ago.
Sighing, I take off my clothes before heading to the shower.
I don’t know how long I can fucking keep this up. Ava was slowly killing me. Slowly crumbling myresolve. I didn’t want to touch her until she knew everything, and until I knew her love for me was set onstone.
Each day, though, it’s getting harder and harder to remain true to my resolve. Every time we kissed,every time she touched me, every fucking time I woke up with her ass cradling my dick, was pure
temptation.
It’s not once or twice; I almost just said fuck it and took her the way I wanted. What stops me is theknowledge that if I do that before she knows everything and before her love for me is rekindled, thenshe’ll end up hating me. I couldn’t risk that. I wouldn’t be able to take it.
Pushing thoughts of the uncertain future aside, I focus on the present matter. My dick was painfullyhard. I’ve had more hand action these past few months than I’ve had in my teenage years.
Taking my swollen shaft in my hand, I close my eyes and imagine Ava in the sexy dress she’d wontonight. I imagine myself tearing it from her as her delicious body comes into view.
She didn’t have a bra, and as my mouth sucked and licked her nipples, my hands went to her panties. Idip my hand inside to find her wet and ready for me.
“Fuck,” groan as I enter one finger and then another.
She moans as I finger–fuck her, begging me not to stop. Her juices drip down my fingers, coating myhand in the process. I rub her clit, and watch as her head falls backward. Her face transforms into alook of pure pleasure, and a small smile plays on her lips.
I pump harder, loving the way she moans my name. Each sound drives pleasure into me. Sheclimaxes, her walls clenching my fingers in a tight fist. Watching her cum pushes me over the edge,making me climax alongside her.
I pull my fingers out and lick her cum from them. She watches me with wide eyes, seductive yetinnocent at the same time,
I climb on top of her and kiss her until we’re both fucking breathless. Pulling away, I look at herbecause I wanted to see her reaction when I entered her. I align my dick with her entrance, the
anticipation making me feel like an eager teenager. I was just about to enter her when a small screampulls me from my fantasy.
I turn towards the door, and my heart stops. Not caring, I rush towards her. Ava was slumped againstthe door, looking like she was in a world of pain.
“Ava?” I call her, but I don’t get an answer.novelbin
Snatching a towel, I wrap it quickly around my waist before focusing on her. Her eyes were closed; shehad tears running down her face, and what broke my heart was the look of pain. that marred herbeautiful face.
“What’s wrong, darling?” I ask,
I place my hand on her shoulder to shake her when she reacts violently.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” she screams, scrambling away from me.
I stare at her in shock. What the hell happened? She was okay a moment ago, but now she didn’t wantme to fucking touch her.
“Ava…”
“Don’t come near you, jerk!” Her eyes are full of bitterness and hate, reminding me of how she wasbefore she was shot.
My heart stops as fear that she’s remembered everything crashes into me.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Ava; I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong,” I plead with her.
More tears continue falling down her face. Pain and hurt shadow her eyes. It literally breaks my fuckingheart to see her like this.
“I had a memory,” she begins before she starts laughing like she’s insane. “You know, I wanted to fuckyou; I wanted to sleep with you; I even talked myself into talking to you about it because I wanted youso much. When I saw you jerking off in the shower, I wanted to join you. I even imagined myself givingyou a blow job while you cummed on my chest.”
I frown, but stay quiet. Something told me that something had happened. That I wasn’t going to likewhat she had to say next.
“Here, I was horny for you, craving you, when my mind had to remind me of something that you said,”she hiccups. “You want to know what it was?”
I didn’t, because I knew it would destroy the small progress we had made, but I nodded none the less.
“You tried being a decent fuck, but you weren’t even good at that. Every time I was inside you, it’sEmma I wanted,” she tells me, her voice catching. “Does it ring a bell?”
My heart completely shatters because I remember the words very clearly. The words that I flung at herbecause I wanted to hurt her for hurting Emma.
“The funny thing is, here I was horny for you when, in reality, you don’t really want me. I’m nothing but aslut to be used as a substitute. Why did you sleep with me if you didn’t want me, Rowan? You couldhave gone and gotten yourself a mistress; it would have hurt, but I would have preferred that to beingused to satiate your desire for Emma.”
The pain in her voice is my undoing. I knew those words would come back to bite me in the ass, butwhen I yelled them at her, I was so pissed that it didn’t hit me that I’d said them until it was too late andI couldn’t take them back.
“It isn’t like that?” I murmured, not able to look into her eyes. I was ashamed of saying those words. Istill am.
“Then how was it? Weren’t those your words? Weren’t you the one who said them? Not once did I pointa gun at your head and force you to sleep with me. Hell, when we got married, I didn’t expect us tohave a sexual relationship, and I told you that. You’re the one who always came to me. You’re the onethat sought me out. If you knew that you didn’t want me, then why sleep with me? Why use me? Whydegrade me like that? You should have just left me alone, Rowan.‘
She moans as I finger fuck her, begging me not to stop Her juices drip down my fingers, coating myhand in the process. I rub her clit, and watch as her head falls backward. Her face transforms into alook of pure pleasure, and a small smile plays on her lips.
1 pump harder, loving the way she moans my name. Each sound drives pleasure into me. Sheclimaxes, her walls clenching my fingers in a tight fist. Watching her cum pushes me over the edge,making me climax alongside her.
I pull my fingers out and lick her cum from them. She watches me with wide eyes, seductive yetinnocent at the same time,
I climb on top of her and kiss her until we’re both fucking breathless. Pulling away, I look at herbecause I wanted to see her reaction when I entered her. I align my dick with her entrance, theanticipation making me feel like an eager teenager, I was just about to enter her when at small screampulls me from my fantasy.
I turn towards the door, and my heart stops. Not caring, I rush towards her. Ava was slumped againstthe door, looking like she was in a world of pain.
“Ava?” I call her, but I don’t get an answer.
Snatching a towel, I wrap it quickly around my waist before focusing on her. Her eyes were closed; shehad tears running down her face, and what broke my heart was the look of pain that marred herbeautiful face.
“What’s wrong, darling?” I ask,
I place my hand on her shoulder to shake her when she reacts violently.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” she screams, scrambling away from me.
I stare at her in shock. What the hell happened? She was okay a moment ago, but now she didn’t wantme to fucking touch her.
“Ava…”
“Don’t come near you, jerk!” Her eyes are full of bitterness and hate, reminding me of how she wasbefore she was shot.